Avatar

I haven't been blown off my seat in a long time in a cinema. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King was probably the last time. But that was a breeze.

Avatar was a fucking hurricane.

Everything that could make a movie fantastic was there, it was epic and it was sweepingly beautiful; the love, the characters and the world of Pandora. A fable of creature and nature. Despite following what appears to be a similar formula of many past movies, this one was different; a gargantuan effort was put into it and it shows. The action builds up, the characters bond, the situation falls greater into disarray and sentiments change. [SPOILER]But I must put special emphasis on the last point of sentiments; this I think touched people most, the protagonist's gradual realisation. You see it in his eyes, feel it in his voice and it lingers in your mind...can you abandon the Na'vi tribe?[spoilerEND]

The Split

It seemed like a good idea to me to use wordpress.com as a blogging platform alongside this one - The Wired will be used primarily for internet and animation related posts.

http://neon5.wordpress.com will be a different category altogether and will take on philosophical musings (Confucianism in particular) as well as the more insightful of journal entries.

Hopefully this will reduce the peculiar posts that I occasionally type.

edit: adaemonium.blogspot.com has been changed, n5on.blogspot.com is the updated address.

The Misery of Toradora!

This parodied image made me laugh, if you've seen the opening of Toradora! you will understand why.

:(

Execution

Upon watching the end of Boston and Legal season 1, I was deeply moved by the very last scene in which a man struggles against guards seconds before being put to death. Alan Shaw who attempted to prevent the death penalty is sat down a few metres away, with a face that could only be described as aghast with horror.

He sees the darkness in people's hearts. And his visit to Texas only deepened his despair in humanity.

If you put emotions aside, the death penalty has no positive results. The criminals can either die or be locked up. There is no threat to society either way. And problematically, miscarriages of justice do happen.
It just shows. USA is the country of 'freedom and prosperity'. Yet some states in America think it's okay for the government to kill off undesirable criminals. Hang on? Did I say undesirable? Sounds similar to the eugenic policies of a certain German political party that was stamped out (mostly by America coincidentally) in 1945. Anyway I'm not really bashing America. Texans and Californians...silly silly people.

Just been playing Silent Hill 3. I think it may become a favourite, I'm getting more abrupt scares than I did with SH-The Room. For instance, when I walked into a room of headless mannequins apart from one with the head attached, I turned a corner and suddenly heard a squeak and a large thump following it. Quickly looking back, I found the previously intact mannequin beheaded with blood around the torso and the neck. A freaky moment with my hairs standing on end -yes...this is the thrill I wanted from Silent Hill!

Norinaga Motoori

Then what is good and evil in the realm of human psychology and ethics according to the Tale of Genji? Generally speaking, those who know the meaning of the sorrow of human existence, i.e., those who are in sympathy and in harmony with human sentiments, are regarded as good; and those who are not aware of the poignancy of human existence, i.e., those who are not in sympathy and not in harmony with human sentiments, are regarded as bad.

-Tusnoda, deBary and Keene, Sources of Japanese Tradition, p.533

The purpose of the Tale of Genji may be likened to the man who, loving the lotus flower, must collect and store muddy and foul water in order to plant and cultivate the flower. The impure mud of illicit love affairs described in the Tale is there not for the purpose of being admired but for the purpose of nurturing the flower of the awareness of the sorrow of the human existence. Prince Genji's conduct is like the lotus flower which is happy and fragrant but which has its roots in filthy muddy water. But the Tale does not dwell on the impurity of the water; it dwells on those who are sympathetically kind and who are aware of the sorrow of human existence, and it holds these feelings to be the basis of the good man.

-Ibid, p.534-535

Solitary Entity

I'm still realising new aspects of me I didn't notice before, aspects that I can trace so far back in time. And with these discoveries I get closer to being content with myself, knowing how I behave, knowing what I truly need. It's odd; maturity is merely growing into your own characteristic behaviour rather than developing into what you dream of being. And this is not to say that you cannot achieve your dreams, they can be achieved if you prepare them through your own behaviour.

You are a solitary entity

This is the voice in my head, 'Boy called Crow' style. I'm already talking to you from my head but people will mostly agree that there is often a dialogue of two in self contemplation. Back to the point however, this is an aspect I just discovered recently. I knew it was there but I didn't realise it was so entrenched in my personality. Perhaps it can be moved with time and experience? But presently, it is there and I'm embracing it. It has carved me into what I am.

Lonely soul.

I can trace it back all the way to my memorable childhood. My hearing loss made it difficult to understand the situation and the world to me was a playground. The boys in my neighbourhood were merely playmates, I never connected to them. I created numerous scenarios with my toys and lego, developing an appreciation for the workings of the world rather than the workings of the people around me. And now I'm doing a physics degree.
As I entered my teens, I started Warhammer 40,000. This is a tabletop game in which you'd expect to be playing with others. But in the end I just painted my models. Painted and painted. My skills rose and I was almost on par with the models in stores. After a couple of years, I drifted off Warhammer and put most of my time into gaming on my pretty new PS2.

Then one night, I was searching on google images. I came across an image of a tightly clad, android looking girl. That night was the night when I discovered Rei Ayanami of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
So anime replaced PS2.

In the end, solitary activity is a part of me. To be loved for both my solitary and outward airs...it is beyond my expectations, but at the same time, I hope.

You are you.

Neon5

Changed my name to neon5. It came when I was thinking up imaginary band names for the band of girls in K-ON, just like TommyHeavenly6. On thinking of Neon and a random number like 5, it sounded more like an internet persona.

Just watched a bit of Ouran High and Kannagi for the first time in days and I found it odd how the mind can switch into a more typically Japanese psyche within half an hour. And worryingly, I seemed to find solace in watching anime, taking my mind off nagging thoughts. Healthy or not, I cannot tell. But it is certainly a retreat from reality; good in small doses?

And finally, I feel a redesign of my blog is in order. So far, just a drastic change in colour. I'm not fantastic with photoshop objects since afterall, I'm a man of freeform. But give it time and I might come up with something good. I already have intentions of producing a good title picture. Just need improvements on the background front. :|

That is not dead

Which cannot die

But only sleeping lie

And with strange aeons

Even death might die

God's in his heaven. All's right with the world.

Tamaki sempai

Ouran High School Host Club

Certainly hasn't failed to pull laughs yet. All the characters are funny in their own way, maybe except for the worryingly incestuous and (what is it again...mmmmmmmm....like yori...you have yuri and then you have...ah yaoi!) yaoi relationship of the two Hitachiin twins. I'm especially liking Fujioka Haruhi for his (or her) rather broad wisdom on the ridiculous lifestyle of the richest of the rich.

And maybe this anime could be considered a distant relative of the spontaneous sex change genre? I'm referring mainly to Ranma 1/2 which offered up more possibilities with the introduction of the boy/girl mechanism. And with Ouran, it could be quite interesting. Probably more witty and elegantly executed than a boy simply turning into a girl just like that - like the anime where a boy is rejected after a confession and randomly turns into a girl overnight. Hmm. Anyway, screenshots.

Getting stabbed in the heart by orange arrows is a regular occurrence by the lookies


Tamaki sempai filling the corner with ominous Put Down Shadows


Randomly amusing

Funnily enough all the stabs and put downs can be sourced from none other than Fujioka. Strangely satisfying.

The Kusanagi of Momoru Oshii

Ghost in the Shell

The Sky Crawlers

The Foolish Traveller

There was this foolish man who travelled around the world, making his way through towns and villages. He met inhabitants, who more often than not took advantage of him. One could call him foolish, for he was swindled by many a person, giving away his money, his shoes and his clothes.

Soon he was completely naked and making his way through a forest to avoid humiliation. He came upon a goblin. This goblin said he wanted to eat, and the man gave an arm and a leg. But the goblin was not finished and soon the man was left as a single head. After eating his eyes, the goblin told the man he would give a present in return.

He dropped a single slip of paper. It had something written on it.

バカ

baka

The man was overcome with tears, streaming heavily from his eyeless sockets. "I have never been given a present in my life, I thank you."

And the goblin left the head, leaving the man to die.

Kafka On The Shore - one last time

Time weighs down on you like an old ambiguous dream. You keep on moving, trying to slip through it. But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won't be able to escape it. Still, you have to go there - to the edge of the world. There's something you can't do unless you get there.

*****

Pointless thoughts

Weird day.

• I woke up early especially for the Saturday training session
• I found that the pickup car had already left, five minutes earlier than arranged
• This wasn't going to stop me; I ran over to the central station and took the train instead
• After 3 stations prior to my stop, an announcement declared that the train would be sat in the station for a very long 25 minutes. My attempt to arrive on time was shattered.

I ended up following the crowd heading to another train, trying to find a member of staff (who simply told me that I could get a taxi instead). So it could have been the case that I would have dejectedly picked up another rail ticket back home. But it happened that the crowd I followed was the 'Hillwalking Society' and the man at the doors of the train recognised me.
"Are you coming then?"
"Yeah. Fuck it."
He makes a smile and laughs as I get on. I think he may have been faintly surprised.
"Where is it you are going again?" I say.
"The Isle of Wight!"
"Ahh." I felt the tinges of doubt regarding this change of plan. "How much is it to get across on the ferry?"
"About £12."
So I check through my wallet and discover that I do in fact, have enough cash to include a ferry ticket, a meal and the train back. With the money account sorted in my head, nothing hindered me; the anger I felt about the train schedule a minute before evaporated. I had to think sensibly about money (for the sake of conscience, borrowing money is a last resort) but otherwise I left everything to impulse. And it was a fantastic day.

I may have missed a training session. But I don't think that visiting the coast of an island, finding a place from your childhood memories long ago, exploring the ruins of a Cold War base and seeing magnificent light beams across the wide and open sea was a bad way to go. At all.
It was fortunate that the day was a glorious one, making ever more new friends along the way. But it could have been a rainy and miserable one. But would I for a moment consider that unlucky? That is not my way of thinking, or at least it isn't any more. I don't hold the scales of luck over the events or results that come from opportunity, rather over opportunity itself. If I can get more than a hundred of such opportunities like this throughout my life, then I will consider myself lucky.

On the subject of the value of regret, whether it be consequences or even a missed opportunity:

Pointless thinking is worse than not thinking.

Sleeping long, whiling away in dreams, an ominous warning that you will soon implode and be thrown into the great puppet theatre of this world. Denied. This man is incompatible with it.

Personal Statement

It is peculiar when you are drafting a personal statement and you write a sentence which suddenly sparks a narrative of your life about two paragraphs long. I might try and compress that into a sentence when I do a final write up - 'self pity just ain't a word in my dictionary any more'. Of course it hasn't been for ages, I might have to look up the definition again to check what it is.
But I must bear one thing in mind: sensitivity to those who are still searching for that 'point'. By finding my 'point', I may unintentionally forget to perceive carefully the minds of younger people.

In any case, another Tatsuki picture as it didn't fit in the last post...Dragon Princess:


(upload rate is hellishly slow :@)

Discouragement

The alluring writing of Murakami is still failing to disappoint me. The book of 'Kafka on the Shore' has just come across two feminists who rapidly argue back with baseless accusations. As the book aptly puts the problem with these people is merely the lack of imagination; T.S. Elliot refered to these as 'hollow people'.

"Narrow minds devoid of imagination. Intolerance, theories cut off from reality, empty terminology, usurped ideals, inflexible systems. Those are the things that really frighten me. What I absolutely fear and loathe." - Oshima, Kafka on the Shore

And this has truth, in the background of today's political climate everyone merely talks about terrorism and political correctness. Intolerance isn't breeding in Afghanistan, it is breeding everywhere and the one thing that intolerance truly stifles is the power of imagination.

I even find it in university, if you could go to one place on earth where you can get a large body of unimaginitive people (minus the more artistic of students), university is the place. Afterall it is more or less a big complex of buildings you hang around for about four years after which you apparently get presented a rolled up document proclaiming you 'capable' of doing an office job for fifty years. Then its carehome and dying without bothering anyone. I fear I have gone off topic already but I'm merely stating that a lot of undergraduates actually arrived at university with a natural drive to discover more of the world, then with four years passed their vivacity for learning has been snuffed out. "I have no need to learn anything else than this subject." "I have a degree therefore I am better than you." And where did that imagination, that drive and the very core of learning go? As I will say now, like some Confucius quote:
'Staying young is realising how to retain and keep close your love of learning.'
That is a thought that is close to my heart, bear in mind that I just gave you a gift. You are obligated not to lose that gift - go and learn to learn! Reading Kafka. would be a good start.

As for the 'hollow people', if they take over the world and turn everything a monochrome grey don't be discouraged. If you find the surroundings or the people too translucent and colourless, there is another world to bury oneself in, to push your potential, knowledge and grace without qualifications or positions: books, the foundation on which one's soul rests. I am not saying it is the only foundation but it is perhaps the very first, unchanging and immovable.


On a side note, I cannot deny that anime is an established form of literature to me as well. After Toradora! I finished Hyakko, a really unabashedly mainstream anime with mainstream characters. But I don't mind watching it - Tatsuki, an upper class student, has a gorgeous, upper class voice.

Tatsuki

Lucky Star is 3 episodes till the end, still haven't seen that Tsukasa Kenshin cosplay yet... And I just started Fruits Basket. It grates. And lastly, I started Minami-ke Okaeri in high spirits. After five episodes, these spirits are still around but they are starting to nap around and snore, the useless spirits they are. I guess at heart I am more a slice of life person. Okaeri is more a montage of unconnected events and people like the first season. But I get this nagging feeling that I'm not the only fan feeling the lack of...stuff.

トラドラ！ - Toradora!

Well, ok. This is going to be a difficult review of my own...as frankly I cannot possibly express how superb the entire series was. As someone said in the top review on MAL, "Sure, the content isn't the most original, but it took a very different route to get there."

A brief introduction: Takasu Ryuuji is an ordinary high school boy who is unfortunate enough to have the eyes of a delinquent despite being beyond one. On arrival to school, he bumps into Aisaka Taiga (known as the Palmtop Tiger for her small size and violent temper) who gives him her wrath. However one event leads to another and they soon make a pact to help each other get closer to their unrequited loves.


In my view, a lot of romance animes follow a standard formula; you have the festivals, the valentines, the hot springs, the beach, the falling ill and getting cared for, the awkward sleepover...name anything quite cliche and you might be completely right. Now it isn't like Toradora fails to include a couple of these but the situations have no trace of bandying about; there is no obvious fanservice (if Ami ever gets out her bikini it was her own intentions, not the director's) and there is no forced story or character development. These characters merely seem to develop on their own and like most dramas, things aren't always obvious to the viewer what the characters are thinking. This reinforces the realism in their behaviour which never fails to be more human than that of regurgitated characters. Their problems are very real, deeper than the shallow waters of the majority of the romance genre. I should really get to the point: this series turns into a drama.

Animation is another point I must reflect on. It was consistently clean and well executed throughout the series, apparently something that the studio (J.C. Staff) is quite devoted to. But I still haven't mentioned the very gem of the animation: the emotional expression of the face and the movement of the expression over a second or two was beautifully and deeply portrayed. You only get these moments maybe three times at most but when they come, you are blown off your seat. You can really connect with the emotional side of the character.

Such an intense yet sweet series. It was a fantastic watch.

忠義 - Loyalty

In romaji: chuugi. The first Kanji stands for 'chuu' - something along the lines of sincerity, faithfulness and loyalty. The top part of the Kanji represents middle and the bottom represents the heart. The second is 'gi' - right action, duty and justice.

In these times, at least for me, this word has a great significance. I shall write a vague explanation below.

One sensei recently said: 'If you feel you distrust or disagree with your sensei, you must simply leave. At absolutely no point do you betray your sensei.'
And I remember my sensei saying to me and the rest of the new students something along the lines of this: 'The most important thing in choosing a martial art is that you trust the sensei. If you don't trust the sensei, just leave. It is only when you trust the sensei that you feel the most reward.'

Now I drop onto the most frank part. Under no circumstances do you betray your sensei. You may leave, if the entire class disagrees with that sensei, the entire class can leave. But never should a club throw out a sensei, especially one who has taught at that club for over a decade. If they believed that the sensei was taking the wrong direction against their will, leaving will show the force of their will.
Betrayal only makes a mockery of everything that sensei ever taught.

These students were, to put it as nicely as possible, selfish and misled.
As for the few who led the coup; rotten to the core.

Photobucket stats

Just got an email today from photobucket, the standard spammy sort of thing. But something caught my attention - the subject field: 'Your photobucket stats: 374 new views this week'

I thought long and hard about this. What pictures in my albums are hotlinked to sites that would receive quite a few views? I delved further and viewed the more detailed statistics on the photobucket site only to find that out of all the pictures, two were contributing the most to these view counts. In second place...is the animated gif of Shampoo (from Ranma 1/2) placed on a (Shampoo) fan page on myanimelist.net. Back then, I simply saw a niche in the fanpages ie. there wasn't a Shampoo fanpage, and sought to take overwhelming power and monopoly over the fandom of Shampoo. And I haven't done much in the way of tyrannical activity since.
In first place...it's quite obvious, afterall I am suddenly writing on this blog after a few weeks of no longer bothering. The background of this blog has been rigging up stats while I left the blog untouched...this is either paranormal activity, or I sleep surf the internet, or there are actually some poor people out there who end up on this blog. It boggles the mind. Bloody google must have routed people here!

Well...I guess I should keep this up and continue my little reviews and snippets of life. There should be a marked improvement in my posts, I have been heavily influenced by the Japanese culture of prose, poetry and private diaries thanks to a book: 'Japanese Culture' by Paul Varley. My main intention from hereon is to structure this blog like a 'nikki' - basically a private journal of observations and poetry from early times. "Of all Heian prose writing, the private diary (nikki) was commonly thought of as a journey, accounting for daily events in an intimate and personal mode." - Paul Varley.

This is the age of the internet. And I'm sharing my journey with you, even if it was a bit unintentional.

Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

A dark omnipresent pool of water.
It was probably always there, hidden away somewhere. But when the time comes it silently rushes out, chilling every cell in your body. You drown in that cruel flood, gasping for breath. You cling to a vent near the ceiling, struggling, but the air you manage to breathe is dry and burns your throat. Water and thirst, cold and heat - these supposedly opposite elements combine to assault you.
The world is a huge space, but the space that will take you in - and it doesn't have to be very big - is nowhere to be found. You seek a voice, but what do you get? Silence. You look for silence, but guess what? All you hear over and over is the voice of this omen. And sometimes the prophetic voice pushes a secret switch hidden deep inside your brain.
Your heart is like a great river after a long spell of rain, spilling over its banks. All signposts that once stood on the ground are gone, inundated and carried away by that rush of water. And still the rain beats down on the surface of the river. Every time you see a flood like that on the news you tell yourself: That's it. That's my heart.

か...み...ちゅ! (Kamichu!)

I just put Japanese script on my computers. That may explain the title...

In any case I am almost at the end of the season of Kamichu! which is one of those series you watch, merely for curiosity. I saw this for the first time with the anime club and truly thought it was another children's anime like 'Shugo Chara!' but even so, I found the animation most intriguing and the storyline a little fresher than usual. So I downloaded and gave it a go.
I should say that I am a slice of life junkie when it comes to anime, and when I got through five of the episodes I realised that I enjoyed the realism of the characters and of course the simple, simple, simple flow of life in Hinode. And not only that; the beautiful scene artwork and the crisp and dynamic animation blew my top off. One of the best examples is in the screenshot below when Yurie's mother and father are speaking; Akane was constantly moving while she spoke. The animation portrayed her charming behaviour with perfect, artistic accuracy.


I must say, I have never come across a woman in anime as ridiculously sweet and down to earth as Yurie's mother, it is hard not to smile whenever she comes on screen.

I still haven't mentioned one of the most wonderful points of this anime: the plot, concerning Yurie becoming a god amongst gods. I always feel a leap in my heart, a leap of surprise when I see the great big lion on the roof, the sea captain squid, the amusing tall (and seemingly naked) grey man and all the other numerous gods that form the world of Kamichu! And even more so, they don't appear too often unlike the more saturated children's programmes where they appear everywhere, lessening the delight of their own appearance. It is just brilliant, watching something that reminds you of those younger days watching children's tv, but without bringing your mind to the level of a child's. This series is short of a masterpiece and will definitely get a rewatch in the future.

The Convention of the Gods


Hinode harbour

Memories on paper

Most people see learning through the subjects (ie. English literature, mathematics and science; Philosophy and classics; etc.) as the only way to become a productive member of society in the learned context. But there is another way. Through teaching. Through martial art. And through wisdom.

***

The confucius aspect of ancestory: helping the aged and ensuring their life and memories are acknowledged by another stranger.

***

Psychological drugs have to be the most dangerous...imagine your life played out as a death scene from now. Take such drugs and this may just happen.

Most are blissfully unaware of this fact. But once you are aware...

you know it will happen.

***

Interpretation of 'The Sky Crawlers'

A review about 'The Sky Crawlers" posted on the box (bakabt) by radionerd struck my eye and is possibly the most informative I have found. Not quite on the same level of vaguarity as Evangelion but still quite fascinating:

In Defense of the Sky Crawlers

Death of a King

Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey, one is always aware that it lies in wait. Though life merely a journey to the grave, it must not be undertaken without hope. Only then will a traveler's story live on, treasured by who bid him farewell.

See you MJ.

Laughing at the world again...finally

It has been quite depressing of late, I've slept long nights and days, losing all reason of getting up. Every day streamed around the solid daydreaming of my mind. I was not content with this world. As always.

Nevertheless, there has always been something that perks me up. I remember when I first started Shorinji Kempo. I loved it. Something to do with the discipline and structure; it is somewhat applicable in real life. But I couldn't quite grasp what it was. Turns out that my mind is attracted and geared towards the philosophy of Confucius. My mind craves the formality, reserve and respect. With such principles, a society can function extremely well; Japan has proved that. Even so, there is something even more important than those principles alone. One must become a "learned man". If someone has an unquenchable thirst for learning then they have the potential to become a true gentleman. A good person makes himself useful to society by gaining skills and knowledge. If he does not use these then he practically demotes himself to the level of the small man; a man who chooses to be of no use. If you do not make yourself useful to those around you...then how can you be called good?

Most people see learning through the subjects as the only way to become a member of society in the 'learned' context. Subjects such as English literature, mathematics, sciences, Philosophy and Classics. But surely there are other ways, through teaching, martial art and wisdom? People fail to see this; teachers get heckled and sued, martial arts are viewed with suspicion and the greatest sources of wisdom are left in care homes by their own offspring to lose their mind. Things need to change.

The Sky Crawlers Eva Rating

I was looking around at blu-ray external readers today. And there was only one reason why. I am going to buy 'The Sky Crawlers" and I am absolutely determined to watch it in HD. How can you not watch the clean, crisp and spectacular animation on a normal DVD? My new housemate has a 50 inch Kuro Pioneer TV. Basically that means absolute black for the blacks. When I watch The Sky Crawlers a second time it is going to be bliss. The story stirs up all the right feelings I love; feelings that my most favourite animes Evangelion and SEL emanate.

I thought I should kind of put the amazingness of this film in perspective.
End of Evangelion has a shock and awe factor of 10/10. Meaning...shock for roughly over a week. The personality kind of suddenly goes introverted for a while. No need for outside influence, the thought train of Eva alone is perfectly satisfying.

I would rate SEL (Serial Experiments Lain) at roughly 6. The content itself is not revolutionising, but the emotion flares up to extreme highs in the last episode.

As for The Sky Crawlers...I'd say...5. This is an impressive score considering it is a film that lasts for roughly 2 hours compared to SEL and NGE at about 6 and 12 hours respectively. There isn't much time for character development but the general concept of the film breaks some unchartered ground and smashes ignorance's face in. Heh heh

I will probably rate a few things in the future with an Eva score...unfortunately. Tooooo much time on my hands. I'm going for a run. That's useful at least.

This link is a good interpretation of The Sky Crawlers. Interpretation means it's spoiler town.

The Truth of War

People strive for peace. And there are fools out there who believe that we may achieve peace one day. But my point is this: in times of peace, we lose something that forms the core of our being: the survival instinct. Thus we turn self destructive, whether it be through self gratification through material means or a descent into anarchy.

War is inevitable no matter how you look at it. In fact, we need war.

If not war, we are going to turn into grotesque, drugged up beings.

Spoiler after this sentence. In the alternate universe of 'The Sky Crawlers', two companies on neighbouring continents orchestrate a war in which the 'Kildren' dogfight in the skies. Why would these companies orchestrate such a war? The answer isn't even related to money as you would normally expect. In fact, the war prevents any ordinary wars taking place amongst the population. While there is war, people strive for peace. What they don't know is that the war is fake. Though the 'Kildren' must die nevertheless.

This idea has been bandied about quite a bit in history and literature. It's the idea of substituting organised killing instead of the inevitably chaotic killing of normal people and/or soldiers. Imagine this on a global scale (like in Noir). I cannot deny myself that it would be quite an ideal world.

But in the end, people would tire. History shows that Chaos Theory is virtually correct. There will always be a slump before the the rise. Therefore anyone who believes in an ideal world should never expect it to last for more than a century. If the German Nazis had won the war, I don't believe 21st century Nazism would exist nevertheless. But it is a relief they didn't win the war, if a huge number of people must die for an ideal, then it is not an ideal fighting for. War is the only thing worth losing human lives for, it is the thing that keeps us human and sane.

Spoiler over...

And if you're stuck following the same path throughout your life, then no matter how long you may live, always try to change your destiny. No matter what the consequences.

The Sky Crawlers is a beautiful, awakening film. It is not about the dogfights. It is about the pilots, their life, their non changing world. Don't miss it.

Zeitgeist

I, like quite a few people, don't want to be stuck in an office job. But no matter what, everything tends towards money and we end up being enslaved to money. Enslaved is a strong word...but what is more fitting? It is the way of modern times, it is the way of modern people. Go against this way, you face isolation. At least eventually.

However as history has taught us, there is one thing that surpasses money and that is the combination of knowledge, wisdom and determination. All in all, these are the qualities of a teacher; one who teaches the masses 'his way'. It doesn't have to differ much from the common way but still differs nevertheless.

A teacher is valued more than a successful businessman in Japan. Culture is no more perfected anywhere else.

My heart will never be complete.

Until I live there.

Have no Dreams

Have no Hope

Thrown

Into God's Domain

You Fall

No Sadness

No Despair

Munto

Yay I found another gem in the world of animation: Munto. I've just watched the first OVA and the imagery is beautiful. At first I thought it was going to be some sort of action flick but was soon proved wrong. It's more like a slice of life of a girl who is very unique: she can see islands in the sky. And when one of those islands begins to fall, a mysterious messenger from the heavens claims that she has the power to save everything. But how can she come to terms with this when she has no idea what her power is?

LSA - Lucky Star Addiction

Gah! As soon as I come across a picture of Konata, I suddenly get pangs of some sort of withdrawal symptom. I miss Konata shelling out casual insults and the overreactions of Kagami; it's just absolute genius. I have manga with me in my room back here at 'home home' but due to the lack of a power cable for my external hard drive I am unfortunately deprived of my favourite media. I picked up the wrong cable; it seems I unplugged the radio instead :|

Lucky Star picture fest!

Found at MAL forums funny anime pictures thread

Amusingly cool

It's not just Lucky Star either, I also have an insatiable appetite for Kamichu! of which I watched the first episode with the Solent Anime Club. It is a wonderfully colourful montage of weird and wonderful Gods, very similar to Spirited Away. It is an assault on the visual senses. Gorgeous animation!


Hopefully I get back to uni tomorrow. I look forward to it immensely.

The Public Mind

With liquor tongues and candy smiles
These people stop and think a while
It won't take long before they find
That thing that they call peace of mind
But peace cannot be truly found
When the world still turns around
Driven by the need to earn
Cash that they're allowed to burn
This happiness ain't true or real
It's all an illusion you still feel.
If what you see is what you get
And all the dreams and hopes are set
And all you trust is your eyes
Just look, because they tell only lies.
"Seeing is believing"
Oh, no, seeing is deceiving
If what you see is what you get
Then all the dreams and hopes are set
And all you'll see is what you'll find
You never need to stretch your mind
'Cause all there is, has, and ever will be
Is here before you, gracefully
You bow your head in mocking awe
It's all just like that dream you saw
And will it end here? No, not when
You fall into your dreams again.

-antinomian

Link to antinomian's deviant page

Return to Black...or White?

It's been a while since I last posted to this blog and I thought it should be fitting to continue posting. Over the last few days of March I spent my time around East Germany in Berlin, Leipzig and Dresden. It was very much a different atmosphere, a relaxed one. And it opened up my mind; I wanted to be a better person (I was still inspired by Confucious' Analects). I was staying with a prominently Christian family and this pushed my ambitions further. As soon as I got back I was still quite invigorated by the experience. However after a week, things have gotten wearisome. I enjoy being anonymous, being alone and in the dark. Not sure why but it's just the sense of being alive that I strive for. And living happily doing the same thing every day does not give you that sense. I want a little bit of despair, not much but just a little. Is that a bad thing to ask? I don't want to live like I'm tailoring my personality to suit others just to ensure friendship stays ripe. Why should I make effort to do things with my friends I don't feel like doing? From childhood, I was built to be a solitary being to begin with, my deafness meant that I was not designed to interact with many people.

I will remain a solitary being, it feels right.

I've been reading haphazardly lately: a book by Benjamin called "Orange" and "Me2" by Sho Murase.

Orange is absolutely fantastic, a beautiful montage of digital art with a story made to fit the imagery rather than the other way round. The way it should be; we remember the visual before the sonic. The cover art is just like the rest of the manga and it's beauty jumped out at me while I was in the Forbidden Planet store. I immediately had to buy it and even the cashier herself said that it was a superb manga. So before I had even opened the book, I was filled to the brim with anticipation of something that was going to explode in ribbons as soon as I opened it. The book also redirected my gaze at digital art...now that is a medium I could use...


As for "Me2", it is one of the most surreal books I have opened in my life. The vivid imagery or rather the lack of it gets your imagination working a little more proactively, something that I always appreciate in artistry and writing. It leaves you looking at reality a little bit differently and in a darker light. I like it and will certainly get another volume.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

- Edgar A. Poe

Side of Nux

Over the last few nights, I have eased into a rhythm of sleeping during the day and awakening at night. It seems to suit me, I like the deserted roads; a landscape at rest undisturbed by ants like us. Welcome to the world of Fight Club, or the world of NHK. Whether you are confused, disillusioned, unnatural sleeper or hikkomori, we all share one thing in common. We have given up society and live in the shadows; the underworld. Why do I linger on the dark side of the earth? I'm still working that riddle out. It seems there is nothing clinging onto me from the side of day, nothing to stop me from drifting into darkness. Unfortunately it is always harder to come back to the otherside.

"In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
and they will prophesy.
I will show wonders in the heaven above
and signs on the earth below,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.

The sun will be turned to darkness

and the moon to blood

before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.
And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved."

-Prophet Joel

Sounds a bit freaky but that's just an extract that I came across in the bible which sounded quite familiar so I decided to quote it. Regardless of whether I sleep during the day or not... ;)

An unforseen future nestled somewhere in time.
Unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs.
Judgment day the second coming arrives.
Before you see the light you must die.

Forgotten children, conform a new faith,
Avidity and lust controlled by hate.
Never ending search for your shattered sanity,
Souls of Damnation in their own reality.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive habitat.

Bastard sons begat your cunting daughters,
Promiscuous mothers with your incestuous fathers.
Engreat souls condemned for all eternity,
Obtained by immoral observance a domineering deity.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive sabbath.

On and on, south of heaven

The root of all evil is the heart of a black soul.
A force that has lived all eternity.
The never ending search for a truth never told.
The loss of all hope and your dignity.

Chaos rampant,
An age of distrust.
Confrontations.
Impulsive habitat.

On and on, south of heaven

Tom Araya

Waterstones Recon

On wednesday evening, the Waterstones chain in my city was holding a recon. And funnily enough, I have never actually gone to a convention of any type before. But it was a fun experience, it wasn't substantial but socialising with Akatsuki members, Kilik and Voldo from Soul Calibur, Kiba, Teresa of Claymore and many others was pretty interesting. I came up with my cosplaying idea quite late and simply went as an ANBU ninja or more like Kabuto with a black cloak. Flipping heck, the black cloak was ridiculously emo when I wasn't wearing the mask! The weirdest thing being at that recon was the fact that the majority of people were young teenagers; I have never felt so old! But anyway, I look forward to going to MCM Expo when I will do some quality cosplay along the lines of Gintoki Sakata of Gintama and I am actually going to bleach my hair for it. It's going to be freaky!


Way hey, it's good. Yesterday I purchased a wall mount and screwed it into a long piece of wood which was then shunted against the wall by the back of my desk. And now, I have an LCD mounted above the desk as opposed to stood on it. It is fantastically cool and the most amazing thing is the change in my habits simply due to the screen being 30cm higher; the desk is clear and I can do work without getting distracted. Perfect!

Star Ocean 4 - The Last Hope

I was downloading Star Ocean 1 on the SNES when it suddenly occured to me - is there going to be a new Star Ocean 4? Checked it up on google and hallelujah! It is coming out on Xbox 360 (exclusively I believe) and sounds like it is going to be absolutely fantastic. The developers actually ventured back into some Star Ocean Second Story elements including private actions. And of course, the main reason why I play Star Ocean games is the real time gameplay...and that has not changed either. Just with the addition of amazing graphics. Agghh! I cannot wait! The picture above seems to be a screenshot and hell I must say, the bow has always been the prefered weapon I'd see a girl using, with its grace and speed. So from everything I've seen so far, it is going to be heaven. Imagine online play too!

Shorinji Kempo Blogs

I was looking around blogger searching for Shorinji Kempo and found a few pages of interest. The first page had a rather impressive youtube video by the Moscow branch which has some pretty fast Sotai forms. The last kick looked like it made an impact but I'm sure that the black belt took it well.

The video is from a Spanish blog.

I also found a blog which has a few philosophical musings by someone who mentions a quote from Doshin So of Shorinji Kempo. He may not be an actual practitioner but he has some good thoughts on the subject of martial arts and seems to have followed a similar approach to Doshin So.

A phrase from another blog:

ningen no michi wo akiramette,
ookami no michi ni shitagatte.

Abandon the way of humans and follow the way of the wolves.

Minamicon

As a fervent fan of anime, I reckon it is always a good idea to blow the flames in the right direction. So basically otakuism is best applied in a convention. So I apply to supposedly the best convention in the UK. What do I get? A 180 person long waiting list. Maybe they need a bigger venue? A couple of extra square metres? A lot of otaku end up twiddling their thumbs at home watching their dailys while a few enjoy the fantastic convention which must make them tremble in excitement. Yes...
I have seen the pictures.
I think Expo will be more interesting than some hotel conference room stuffed full of tables, chairs and boards.

Exams Season Procrastination

First off, the dissertation got handed in and was entirely made of a single wikipedia article. Never expected to end up doing that. I have to go to a viva tomorrow and answer numerous questions circling the issue of why the dissertation is generally so shit. Yay.

And after that, I have to continue my revision for exam season which mostly consists of making a Naruto ANBU mask which is turning out really well. So more ANBU masks will be made in the future to addorn my room and occasionally for ANBU cosplay. Another thing about the mask that I'm making is that it has a handmade feel to it, ie. it is not completely smooth and level like plastic but enough to look perfectly normal a metre away. So it feels really authentic to me. Besides, there is only one official naruto mask so I don't really feel cosplaying with that. Plus, my ANBU mask is going to be pretty unique.

Massive Dissertations/Always san chome no yuhi

Mid October to January the 5th: the available time in which to do a dissertation. Available time allotted to me? January 3rd to January the 5th. Of which 100% of the fault is mine. Oops.

On a brighter note, I watched 'Always san chome no yuhi' a few minutes ago and enjoyed the gem of looking into Japanese working life following the post war era. The architecture and customs still never fail to amaze me.

At this point, I should narrate my actions immediately after I wrote the last paragraph. I stood up and proceeded to hit my fists against the wall, grunting in frustration. My ambition for the moment is to go to Japan to teach english as part of the JET scheme. I could always do post graduate work as well if such a thing was possible. But at the rate my university work has gone, I may fail my third year (as failing my dissertation is highly likely for the moment). It isn't that failing and redoing my third year would prevent me going to Japan; I would take 4 years to do a degree whether or not it was a bachelors or masters. But being aware of the 'work hard' ethic of the Japanese only makes me feel more guilty of neglecting my own work. The work ethic I was reminded of in Always san chome no yuhi.

But hey, in a couple of days time I will probably be drinking in celebration of superb insomniac working ability and posting on this blog while drunk: "Life is so hilariously stupid isn't it. You'll see.