Return to Black...or White?

It's been a while since I last posted to this blog and I thought it should be fitting to continue posting. Over the last few days of March I spent my time around East Germany in Berlin, Leipzig and Dresden. It was very much a different atmosphere, a relaxed one. And it opened up my mind; I wanted to be a better person (I was still inspired by Confucious' Analects). I was staying with a prominently Christian family and this pushed my ambitions further. As soon as I got back I was still quite invigorated by the experience. However after a week, things have gotten wearisome. I enjoy being anonymous, being alone and in the dark. Not sure why but it's just the sense of being alive that I strive for. And living happily doing the same thing every day does not give you that sense. I want a little bit of despair, not much but just a little. Is that a bad thing to ask? I don't want to live like I'm tailoring my personality to suit others just to ensure friendship stays ripe. Why should I make effort to do things with my friends I don't feel like doing? From childhood, I was built to be a solitary being to begin with, my deafness meant that I was not designed to interact with many people.

I will remain a solitary being, it feels right.

I've been reading haphazardly lately: a book by Benjamin called "Orange" and "Me2" by Sho Murase.

Orange is absolutely fantastic, a beautiful montage of digital art with a story made to fit the imagery rather than the other way round. The way it should be; we remember the visual before the sonic. The cover art is just like the rest of the manga and it's beauty jumped out at me while I was in the Forbidden Planet store. I immediately had to buy it and even the cashier herself said that it was a superb manga. So before I had even opened the book, I was filled to the brim with anticipation of something that was going to explode in ribbons as soon as I opened it. The book also redirected my gaze at digital art...now that is a medium I could use...


As for "Me2", it is one of the most surreal books I have opened in my life. The vivid imagery or rather the lack of it gets your imagination working a little more proactively, something that I always appreciate in artistry and writing. It leaves you looking at reality a little bit differently and in a darker light. I like it and will certainly get another volume.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream

- Edgar A. Poe