Solitary Entity

I'm still realising new aspects of me I didn't notice before, aspects that I can trace so far back in time. And with these discoveries I get closer to being content with myself, knowing how I behave, knowing what I truly need. It's odd; maturity is merely growing into your own characteristic behaviour rather than developing into what you dream of being. And this is not to say that you cannot achieve your dreams, they can be achieved if you prepare them through your own behaviour.

You are a solitary entity

This is the voice in my head, 'Boy called Crow' style. I'm already talking to you from my head but people will mostly agree that there is often a dialogue of two in self contemplation. Back to the point however, this is an aspect I just discovered recently. I knew it was there but I didn't realise it was so entrenched in my personality. Perhaps it can be moved with time and experience? But presently, it is there and I'm embracing it. It has carved me into what I am.

Lonely soul.

I can trace it back all the way to my memorable childhood. My hearing loss made it difficult to understand the situation and the world to me was a playground. The boys in my neighbourhood were merely playmates, I never connected to them. I created numerous scenarios with my toys and lego, developing an appreciation for the workings of the world rather than the workings of the people around me. And now I'm doing a physics degree.
As I entered my teens, I started Warhammer 40,000. This is a tabletop game in which you'd expect to be playing with others. But in the end I just painted my models. Painted and painted. My skills rose and I was almost on par with the models in stores. After a couple of years, I drifted off Warhammer and put most of my time into gaming on my pretty new PS2.

Then one night, I was searching on google images. I came across an image of a tightly clad, android looking girl. That night was the night when I discovered Rei Ayanami of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
So anime replaced PS2.

In the end, solitary activity is a part of me. To be loved for both my solitary and outward airs...it is beyond my expectations, but at the same time, I hope.

You are you.